Its a new year and so much has happened and so much has not. I still need to remind myself and my friends that up until the last moment you feel defeated still keep a thought in your mind that it can be worse or rather there's a better opportunity out there.

I've been hurt, provoked and annoyed last year by people who dont know me, who want to know me and people who think they know me. But I also realise that said people have taught me much and shown me appreciation of myself and my opinions where I thought I lacked or faulted and they have also taught me to value moments of happiness and to see the heartbreak in every possible situations. I admit that I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone, especially if I did so intentionally, and Im trying to forgive those whom have hurt me be them friends or my family.I am trying to forgive but its not as easy as I thought it would be.

Am I on the path of self rightousness? No. Could I be a hypocrit to my self and values? Yes. Am I not human? That's debatable.

I've decided to live my life with the intention of just learning and growing as I go along. No more troubling people because it makes me laugh(as if I could ever truly be rid of it), no more worrying about my hair when it doesnt style quiet right(mayb ill cut it all off again), i'm never going to worry myself about time(Ive taken to not wearing watches), Im gonna love like there's no need to hold back(and I mean this with strong conviction that Im keeping my heart like Fort Knox till Im ready to settle down),Ive decided that if I have no work whether book work or actual work then I should consider this an h and more importantly Im gonna try to do right by my friends, family and baby sisters. With regards to my parents......thats a whole noda story.

Truly, I wanna smile more so that when Im forty Ill have smile wrinkles rather than soggy frowns. I wanna stop thinking negative and think positve within realistic portions and I wanna feel like if I die in the next second or minute I had a fulfilling life, that I was respected for who I am and not just what I could do that profited other people; that I had left a lasting impression on 1 person outside my family and my mom. I wanna touch the hearts of millions with a single novel and my smile. 

NOTE TO SELF :

Remind me to c if Ive done such things by the middle of the year